Ashes to Ashes

It’s notably unpopular and not politically correct to point out sin. Yet, sin exists whether we like it or not. I guess it might be ok to point out my sin, so long as it doesn’t incriminate the person next to me. As long as they just cannot relate too much. To be in polite society today is to ignore that anyone may possibly do something wrong and be completely responsible for those choices.

I’m not Catholic. Regardless, I love the symbolism of wearing ashes as a reminder to oneself and others that we are all fatally flawed and needed a sacrificial Christ to come to our rescue.

I don’t know why our salvation is set up the way it is. I don’t know why Jesus had to die. I don’t know why the spilling of blood matters. I don’t know why any of this is set up the way that it is. I hope to have those questions answered one day.

Since I’m a believer, I trust in scripture that I hold dear and the fact is, we needed saving. And even as I look around at our confused, violent, tumultuous world, I see why we needed saving from ourselves and others. Healthy living standards make for healthy living. Choices matter.

I’ve pretty well broken every commandment. I can admit this now as a free spirit, unowned by boards of elders, ready to fire my husband at a moment’s notice. Even still there are days that I still don’t feel good enough for the saving even though my confessions can be more public and honest. There are days when I wonder if I’ve ever done enough to please Jesus. There are days when I need ashes on my forehead and a quick glance in the mirror awakening me to my bleak ability to ever make better life choices. Lots of days.

We are dust. As horrifically hopeless and ecclesiastical as that sounds, that is exactly what we are. The most I can hope for is to have people to love and be loved in return and to do a little good with the time I’m allowed on earth.

For some reason, which will be forever a mystery to me, G-d thought I needed to exist. And though I fail and I fail and will likely be forgotten before I’m warm in my grave, I will forever owe my days to Him.

Because I see no other way to live. I cannot commit myself to the dirt buying that all this was meaningless.

Even ashes make for good story so that someone else may walk differently.